It’s always this time of year that gives people the time for reflection. For some it’s a time of depression, grief or a multitude of annoying irritations all associated with our *overconsumerised (*yep- another made up word from me) and commercial view of what a ‘perfect’ Christmas ‘should’ be!

If you live enough years, you start to collect a multitude of experiences, some are what I call lumps that bring a tear to the eye and a lump to the throat upon grateful recollection .The others are bumps and the ensuing collateral damage at work in your life is related to the size of the impact and the ability to positively re-frame ‘challenges.’

The first Christmas after that ‘bump’ in the night (dark journey of the soul) is always the most raw and challenging. Our brains seem hardwired to continually remind us of what we don’t have…that we once did, or what we do have…that we don’t want!

There will be those around you or yourself who is struggling with enforced change. Deaths, divorces, illness’, losses, uncertainties are issues we face regularly, however it is this time of year when we are expected to be joyous that it serves to inflame and exacerbate our concerns or stresses. Of course, everyone else appears to be doing tremendously and all is *fine (*that notorious word for F!?$## Incapable of Normal Emotion) and that just helps to make us feel as if we are somehow ‘wrong’!

Those that know me are aware that I have been what’s affectionately termed a ‘Chrissy Orphan’; always invited to friends families for the day. Everyone concerned that I’d be alone; alone for some reason seems to be a dreaded state!

Whilst I was a cop, I’d volunteer to work the Xmas’- this was mistaken as generosity to allow members with family to be with them; not so…this was my way of avoiding the day! (Note; From a Policewoman’s perspective, there is an unprecedented increase in violence and suicide at this time of year over any other period, so for me the day was not avoided it became concentratedly toxic!) Expectations, slights and misunderstandings lead to overwhelmingly charged emotional states…then add alcohol on this festive occasion!!! Phew- what a reality.

For those that have what you want in life please express your gratitude to those nearest and dearest, it may come as a surprise to realize that they may not know how you value and appreciate them…and if they do, well, one can never be told too much!

For those feeling less than cheery, it is OK…feel it, own it and let it go! Those feelings only need recognition, not reliving, then determine how you are going to spend your day…this is not up to anyone else…this is your agreement with you.

Either spend the day totally dedicated to yourself, pamper, indulge, love and relax…that is especially for those of you that are always attending to the needs of others.

If you do not fill up your own ‘feel good’ tank, there will not be much left to share with others before burnout hits!

Alternately for those who find themselves too absorbed with your perceived problems, join with those you know are less fortunate (you will not need to look far- premmy babies, homeless, uncared elderly, angry teens) and help make their day.

I used to go into a particular nursing home and give gentle head massages which always bought a smile, as most missed a kind loving touch that was specifically meant for them and only them and it made me feel incredibly grateful that we have this power to share with each other…so simply and funnily…inexpensively too!

I talk in schools with kids and I always tell them to create their own excitement, instead of this ‘wait and see what happens’ approach and incredibly they all laugh when I tell that I buy myself a Christmas present, just to make sure that I get one. So bonus…I get a pressy and the kids get a laugh.

Don’t set yourself up for disappointment this year; take action, it’s your life, your destiny and most importantly your power to Feel GOOD…and when all else fails, as I have learned…if you can’t be pleasant…pause….

The moment just like all others will pass!

Much joy, love, laughter and well-being to you my dear global friends and fellow ButKickers in this amazing world that we are all in.

Merry Xmas and Fabulous New Year!

Rosie.

www.kickbut.com.au