What Your Thai Girlfriend Says And What She Really Means
Those frequent visitors to this site will of course be well advised on business in Thailand, however let us not forget one of the glorious reasons we live in Thailand is or the gracious and kind Thai people.
However those of us in Long term relationships will know we earned our scars and have sufficient knowledge not to get a frying pan on the head due to simple faux pas each day, and harmony has finally arrived at No 5 Happy Bahn, Soi Bliss. However we, who are long in the tooth, are freely available to pass this information on to the just arrived expat, but we sometimes choose to chuckle quietly into our bottles of Chang and let the novice learn for himself or herself.
Here is our guide on what Thai partners say and what they really mean.
“Up to you.”.
Not so unique to Thailand and more of any woman’s prerogative in the early stages of a relationship; is when a Thai lady says “Up to you!” You can be fooled into thinking a night watching the footy, then a good old gang fight down the underpass is a perfectly acceptable first date, on the contrary my apprentice, this is a test, it means;
‘Take me somewhere salubrious and show me you are not a Cheap Charlie and you have some class, that I can later trust you enough to be able to show you off to my friends and family.’
Anything less will leave her wanting, although her grace won’t show any disappointment, Thais are the best n the world at telling you they had a great time even when they would rather see you goaded with bulls and then run over by a steamroller, then they are world class at not being contactable after either!
“The Buffalo is sick”
You may have heard this many times in a bar but it has quite a strong meaning behind it. Asian People, especially Southeast Asian’s have a very different view of family life, our Thai partners will look after their elderly folks like a Western parent will look after their own 5 year old children, they instinctively make sure they have what their elders need, they are well and that they are very much part of the family till they die.
Try to explain Old Age Homes we have in Europe to a Thai, and that will probably put her off her applying for a UK spouse Visa forever! I have had expat friends ‘dump’ what they considered were ‘gold digger’ girlfriends using this method, this and showing them how low the UK is on pension payouts, compared to the rest of Europe, a bit callous, but its a good test all the same.
When your ‘Thai wife to be’ says the Buffalo is sick it’s a euphemism for; send me some money as fast as possible and you really don’t need to ask, its not all for beer, and you would be drunk every day if you had to live on this boring farm all your life and get a pittance.
I personally watched my own father put 100% of his hard earned on the table for all his working life in UK for my Mum, and Mum decided the best use of this money, I don’t see the difference between sending money to someone you consider to be your family and if you know and trust her, not to question whatever she spends it on, wherever in the world they come from.
“My friend go Europe many time already!”
The poor old Thai Millennial is in a rather tight spot really, torn between loyalty to family and the old ways and Thai customs, and also trying to make their way in a world changing so fast with technology and freely available knowledge. The world is flatter and more people are traveling to other countries, well that’s what she sees.
Their family can be constantly nagging your Thai partner to try to make sure she gets some kind of economic assurance from you, and they often really hurt your partner with their constant comparisons with another lady from their village who has fallen on their feet and got a big house after just 2 years and a car of her ferang sponsor and she is now traveling the globe.
We all have to monitor closely all ‘truths’ we let into our heads and hearts, especially that what we see on social media, which has really become a superficial boasting match for many young girls. We do not truly know if that lady is happy in herself, and well there is always one that has a perfect life, getting visas and traveling to UK Buddhism teaches strongly against covetous behavior but the old Thai generation is rife with comparing themselves to others.
Try to understand what your partner is going through trying to bridge the gap and keep everyone happy, it can not be easy, if you have a good open communication, the staple of any good relationship, you should be able to show your lady your ambitions and as you as a bread winner, or even with both of you working, how you can carve yourselves a better life together and fulfill yours and her dreams at the same time, and keep of course keep Grandfather in beer till his very last bottle, and really,.. beer is still quite cheap in Thailand compared to many parts of the world.
Knowledge of your partners culture and remaining open to learn, can help you tremendously in your life , work and relationships. Happiness with your Thai partner is earned not a given, and is something you learn for yourself through time as the path is yours to learn alone, in Thailand one shoe never fits anyone else the same.
Knowledge of Thailand Visas for that day when you are ready for her to meet your family in the west, is one route you will have to take if you are expatriated from outside Thailand, whether on your own accord, or lucky enough to be sent by your company, either way; life is hard enough learning all about your Thai partner and her culture and nuances, so leave that to an established and reputable Thai visa expert.
For help with any kind of Visa for your buffalo or Asian Lady ask us here