Misery really does love Company!
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. “
Marcel Proust.
“Misery loves company “
I remember hearing that saying as a child and thinking to myself…yep ‘miserable people tend to hang out together’.
I certainly never imagined then that the negative thoughts in my mind were conscripting other negative thoughts to band together and not being limited to my here and now, even those dire thoughts from my past were revived or reinvented into my gloomy foreseeable future…no wonder we can get caught up in the muck and mire of it…it does not matter if your muck and mire is represented by loneliness, being penniless or unwellness or simply vague feelings of irritation, frustration or grievance.
It is all forms of misery and as it does love company you can observe yourself build yourself up into quite a state in staying focused on any particular vexatious topic. What’s worse, is that energy is now attracting more of the same into your experience…as if anyone wants more of what they don’t!
This is the energy state of ‘like attracts like’…you can’t be feeling annoyed and project love to whomever or whatever you feel is annoying. This then can be a human conundrum. How do we like what we so obviously do not? How do we move to a state of allowance? ( note; I did not say tolerance, as tolerance still carries the energy of ‘not liking’ however is now enduring what is not liked.)
The key word in answering this conundrum is FOCUS! Focus is always our freedom and our own personal choice. We do not choose for another although there will be many that attempt to impose their perspective and particular viewpoint onto others in order to get what they want.
So if focus is key…focus on what?
Focus on what you want of course… attention to what you don’t want leads to a tension… (get it) mind and body are linked, there is no escaping what you give your attention to…it is served up to you as your life. Yes we certainly get experiences that you may feel justified to feel miserable, however I was being taught lessons from my 18 month old son, who is now almost 6 years old, that just because you feel miserable it is no reason to BE miserable.
Back then, when he had his 18 month chicken pox injection and came down with a nasty chesty phlemy cold and during the course of a difficult night for him with a raging fever; I relented feeling so sorry for the poor mite who looked so ill and took him to bed with me and even though he barely slept 3 hours and I was getting crankier with the lack of sleep ( yes…I see the excuse) which was too funny as my son kept kissing me as I got cranky. God love him, as miserable as he felt he chose to still be a blessing and a delight. Fortunately he is not looking at me to be a leading light, just to be present.
Focus is not a once only lesson for most of us; as we continue to observe we give away our thoughts and energy to anything that happens to be in front of us, some of it may be to our liking, some of it may not be.
Our job is to get clear on what we want and then to bridge the distance of the state we are in to the state we want to be in by seeking a better feeling thought that helps us bring in more better feeling thoughts and as we continue to associate and hang around with more better feeling thoughts a funny thing happens…all of a sudden we end up with better feeling experiences occurring.
We end up with better feeling conversations, better feeling interactions with others and better feeling results in our lives and then…we can actually allow all our greater good to flow to us as it’s been hellbent on doing for the longest time.
Start today and reach for the best feeling thoughts on all subjects that cross your path, if you can’t or don’t want to…that’s ok after all this is your freedom and your life. Enjoy xx
Rosie